Although I don't like hierarchical relationships or primary partners, I do have one partner only at the moment. We have been together for close to two years, and although we have both dated others, neither of us has embarked on another romantic relationship in that time period. My partner has a couple of friends with whom he is romantic but not (currently) sexual. I sleep around with other people when I can find people I want to do that with.
This arrangement is perfectly fine. I'd like to find another partner or two, and/or some long-term sex partners. I'd like to get under my belt the experience of my partner having other partners, by my definition. It's a little funky since he doesn't label relationships and considers me and his friends mentioned above on an even plane. One is overseas, but he spends a lot of time with the other. In some sense therefore he already does have another partner, even though there's no sex involved.
These lines are quite arbitrary, as is obvious given that he and I have different definitions of relationship words. I sometimes do a thought experiment where I find a partner I want to be monogamous with (not likely), meaning that I wouldn't date my current partner S anymore. I could still be friends with S though; my hypothetical monogamous partner wouldn't be controlling. So I can still hang out with S. Perhaps I can still hug S hello and good-bye.
What about more? Could I cuddle with S on the couch when we watch TV? What if I were to give S a little kiss on the cheek? Suppose I could do everything I used to do with S, except touch his penis? The line is pretty arbitrary, see?
No comments:
Post a Comment