Little Voices

The voices in my head are pretty insidious, but they are still a part of me. They are still my own brain telling me things. It feels like it's my mom, or my best friend when I was 12, or teenage boys making fun of me. But really, it's just me. The sentiments may have come from outside me originally, but they are part of me now.

This feels important to clarify. When I worked as a domestic violence crisis counselor, there was something I used to tell the DV victims/survivors I worked with: It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility. Of course if someone has abused you it is never ever your fault. However, you are the one who has to get yourself out of the situation. You are encouraged to ask for help, and we will help you any way we can and find other folks to help you as well, but the ultimate responsibility for freeing yourself lies with you.

I'm not saying that insecurity and anxiety are like domestic violence, except in this small way: It's not my fault that I have this disorder, but it is my responsibility to take care of myself.

The thought patterns of insecurity, which I sometimes call the voices in my head -- they are not my fault, but no one but me can alter what is inside my own mind. They are me, they are part of me, they are not actually the voices of the people I took them from.