Giving Up Insecurity

Yesterday I decided I'm giving up insecurity. It's not quite like giving up smoking, or TV. You know when you've had a smoke, or watched TV.

It's more like breaking a habit, like biting your nails. You can't smoke if you don't have cigarettes, but your nails are always there, and if you're in the habit of biting them, you are likely to do it before you realize what you're doing. It requires a lot of patience and remembering to take your fingers away from your mouth when you catch yourself doing it.

Insecurity is like that. It's thought patterns, little voices telling you you're not good enough, not pretty enough, too weird, too stupid, too insecure. Thought habits can be broken just like biting your nails. Thoughts like this:

I'm not pretty enough. I'm just as pretty as anyone else. I'm prettier than her.

Comparisons are an insidious part of this. My goal is not to compare, negatively or positively, but just to be. I am. I don't have to be pretty, I don't have to be ugly, I don't have to be smart, or talented, or ambitious.

Just like Meg Murray, I am. The end. I am.